Sunday, February 28, 2010
I wonder how many of you reading this have a scar somewhere on your body? I bet if we polled our readers, we could find scars from knee replacements, C-sections, broken legs, thyroid mess, carpal tunnel, tummy tucks, and no telling what all. Some of our scars can't be shown. Some of us wear our scars like badges of honor, pulling up the hems of our shirts to show them off.
Those scars meant that in some point in time our bodies and our lives were sort of out-of-whack. There was pain on some level. And, I bet if we asked you about it, you could tell us in minute detail every single aspect of your scar's story.
I just taught my brother, Bo, the expression TMI. (Not that he needed it of course; I was just catching him up on the latest texting trends. I'm cool like that.) But, yes, sometimes when we share/show our scars, our listeners are silently screaming, TMI! Over-share! Enough already! (Probably a bit like the picture at the top of this page.)
Taylor has three huge scars on his body. One of the scars was actually made twice. (TMI yet?) What nobody ever told me, though, as his mama and care-taker, is that the scar tissue that forms after creating that scar (surgery) can continue to keep the pain alive way down the line. Am I the only person out there that did not know that gem of medical wisdom? Shouldn't we have been trying to massage and Vitamin E this fellow all along? My guess is that if we don't deal with those scars on some level, there's a probability that discomfort and that nagging feeling will be a constant reminder of the original hurt for years to come.
But what about those scars that we can't see? How many times have you caught yourself saying, "Oh, he hurt me so bad. I'll never get over it."? Isn't that a scar you're talking about? Where does it show up in your body? What about, "I can forgive, but I'll never forget." I bet if you had to draw a picture of how that scar feels, it would be deep and ugly. How about, "I'll never speak to her again after what she did to me." How jagged and thick a scar does that leave in/on you? Oh dear. Unseen but very real scars......and all with scar tissue forming and hardening around them---and they are scars we've cut all by ourselves. Pause. Ponder. Wonder. Ask. Hate. Dismiss. Accept. True?
Here's what I know. I hate it that any of us ever has to hurt---physically, emotionally, spiritually. I hate it. Sometimes we can ask to be rid of that pain; it might take a knife. But for those other scars, the ones we allow ourselves to cut unconscioulsly (elective?)--- do we really need those as badges of honor of our hurts? I think there is a Vitamen E of sorts for those scars and that hanger-on-er scar tissue. You can rub it on and rub it in. It's free. You have some on hand right now. It's a potion you make at home. We each have all the ingredients we need.
Here's the formula: Compassion and forgiveness.
Compassion for our broken-ness.
Forgiveness for those to whom we've assigned the blame.
Rub some of that balm on to those scars. Rub some love into those scars. Rub some more; there may be scar tissue.