tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-525985579775978639.post8948375137347833444..comments2023-05-23T04:56:21.024-04:00Comments on The Retarded Mother: Waiting to TalkThe Retarded Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09157223871852109919noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-525985579775978639.post-57301289182024620202010-03-12T15:01:08.995-05:002010-03-12T15:01:08.995-05:00Thank you , Marianne , for the great reminder...I ...Thank you , Marianne , for the great reminder...I find it so hard to do the "wait time" thing at home and at school. <br /><br />One thing else, though, that is hard, is when we sincerely ask people questions about their lives, their families, their jobs, their feelings...and the person deflects it immediately back to the person asking the question. The conversation goes like this...<br /><br />"hey, how are you?"<br />"Fine....how are you ?"<br />"I'm great... how is _________? "<br />"She's fine...what about your _________(kid, husband/job"<br /><br />and so on...and so on.....<br /><br />I know I am not expressing myself well here, but it's that person who never really gets into a "deep" conversation about her family/job/beliefs, etc....but LOVES to talk "deep" with you about your stuff. I've got a couple of friends like this.... they are "great" listeners, but I feel like they are not willing to reciprocate. <br /><br />Maybe I'm not "safe" enough...ouch....that hurts!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13990736256159166257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-525985579775978639.post-18779148624761407822010-03-11T15:40:55.603-05:002010-03-11T15:40:55.603-05:00I hear you, Marianne. You are such a good listener...I hear you, Marianne. You are such a good listener, and I agree with CAannie; I'm sure we're reading this and thinking, "She got me! I knew I should have stopped talking occasionally." <br /><br />There's a woman at work who has a habit of saying the last word or two of everyone's sentences. It's as if she knows what's coming and just can't avoid joining in. :-) Don't you think we need poor listeners in our lives, so we can look at them and say to ourselves, "Ooh. I hope I don't do this." Or, "Ouch. I do this and NOW I see just how annoying it is." ? It's much easier to learn from poor role models, I think.<br /><br />Thank you for your pearls, Marianne. xThe Singing Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00773138856249917610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-525985579775978639.post-1955873140974203482010-03-11T15:08:42.555-05:002010-03-11T15:08:42.555-05:00Though-provoking words here... I admire your gift...Though-provoking words here... I admire your gift of writing and the courage to say what we need to hear. I've been noticing this very thing more and more lately and have been really working to try to stop and listen more. Thanks for the reminder.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07229100025364511121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-525985579775978639.post-33960365709199813542010-03-11T15:00:34.123-05:002010-03-11T15:00:34.123-05:00My mother sent me an article once about neo-narcis...My mother sent me an article once about neo-narcissism. In the article it mentioned “duologue”. When someone is thinking about what they are going to say and not listening to what you are saying, that is called “duologue”. In our society it is viral. I don’t think it is because folks are neo-narcissists but rather that many folks have lost the art of listening. We have lost the Bardic tradition in our society and so we don't know how to hear a story. We get nervous and frantic and loose our way and words began to “jumble”. To SEE what is being told to you is so wonderfully creative but like our appendix, if we don’t use it we loose it. I guess you could say our ability to hear a story has atrophied. Now if we are listening to Rush Limbaugh or NPR or a book on tape, we might call those experiences “the expert from out of town”. Folks always seem to listen to them. Hee hee. <br />Recently I tried to tell a magical story to a friend. Forgetting that I was magical, she began slipping into duologue. <br />I said to her, “Close your eyes. See a Rooster. Do you see it?” <br />She nodded yes.<br />I then said, “It is rearing its head back. Do you see that?” <br />“Yes.” she said.<br />“Now it is barking like a dog.” I said.<br />She started laughing. Then I told her the story. She heard it. <br />I like that.Christy Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02283794074266905643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-525985579775978639.post-72679275801963625902010-03-11T14:56:12.976-05:002010-03-11T14:56:12.976-05:00Actually, Annie, I think it's mostly me that I...Actually, Annie, I think it's mostly me that I'm talking about. Isn't it always really about ourselves that we see? It' just easier to pretend it's somebody outside of ourselves. <br />I love all of you brave brave comment-ers. It is so hard to be so exposed. Thank you so much.The Retarded Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09157223871852109919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-525985579775978639.post-18210063300073568252010-03-11T14:47:52.080-05:002010-03-11T14:47:52.080-05:00Of course you know that many of us are thinking ne...Of course you know that many of us are thinking nervously of the last conversation we had with you... "Was that me being rude and not listening?" Sometimes it might be me, but not now: I remember our last visit, our walk, our words: that was some sweet, pure sharing. Thanks for being you, both in person and in print. xoxoxoxo aCAanniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15935854594007339380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-525985579775978639.post-59320633803625232182010-03-11T13:55:40.219-05:002010-03-11T13:55:40.219-05:00I love LISTENING to what you have to say in your b...I love LISTENING to what you have to say in your blog. I work with Deanie and she shared the site with me. (I blog too, in spurts... occasionally...when the spirit moves me....)<br />I have read every post and appreciate your perspective, honesty and spirit.<br />My cousin Richard would have loved Taylor..Sandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16851418561197994697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-525985579775978639.post-60040502574224834132010-03-11T12:20:01.620-05:002010-03-11T12:20:01.620-05:00Be still and know that I am God.....
I mean its in...Be still and know that I am God.....<br />I mean its in Holy Scripture and still,like you say, it is sooooooooooo hard.<br />That line from a song in the musical Les Miserable says something like "to love another person is to see the face of God."<br />I think you have hit the crux of that line. Loving and listening and waiting to hear....really hear.<br />(so far I'm the only responder.....the other readers LISTENED today. Even my fingers are too loud!)Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05955045038564026914noreply@blogger.com