Tuesday, February 28, 2012

MRI....Step # 962 up this Mountain

I was sitting in the pre-op room at the hospital today with Taylor as we waited for his MRI with sedation.  That's not an accurate term as it turns out; it should be called an MRI, done in an operating room, with a full "knock-out".   For an MRI!!!  Whew.
I really sat there wondering about my life and how come it was that I couldn't just be at Macy's trying on wide-width shoes.  Is that asking too much?
 BUT!  It's done.  And the CD has been over-nighted to the neurosurgeon in Chicago. 
So, we are one step closer to knowing something.....anything. 
I  am ice-picking my way up a slippery slope.
 The foot holds are not clearly marked.
I'm not sure where to grip to keep from falling.

While Taylor was "under"and being intubated (now THAT will hold a mother's heart hostage),  I looked over at his little bag of "what he came in here with".    Little  gray sweat pants, boy-size socks, a small man's white t-shirt...and that darn ubiquitous neck brace.
Uh-oh---there came the tears. 
How do I care for this man/child?
When will we figure this out?
I had my 7 minutes of falling apart---and then I saw some women who should have been on
 "What Not to Wear".   I stopped crying and gave into being judgmental.  It was such a relief.
I sat in that waiting room, doing mini-make-overs for them in my mind.
I wonder if they were silently praying for this weeping woman holding the neck brace.
Isn't life just so layered and complex?
Please pray for foot-holds and hand-holds that are within reach--even if it's a stretch.

1 comment:

  1. Words that we never imagined saying: "...and the CD has been overnighted to the neurosurgeon." And yet you continue to love others and to encourage them. Love you Mary! Liz


Thank you so much for your comments. I know it's scary to put yourself out there. I really appreciate your being on this journey with me. You really are brave..