Sunday, April 7, 2013

Role Reversal.....or Is It?

Taylor's father has lung cancer.  Hopefully all of the slash and burn modern medicines are shrinking a very large tumor.   In the midst of this, Joe (Taylor's dad) has a hip that is giving him fits.  A year ago, we were living in angst just watching Taylor live with so much pain.  Now, as Taylor is healing, it is he, Taylor, who is caring for his dad.  Isn't it so interesting and amazing in life how ebb and flow keeps a constant cycle in motion in all of our lives?  Sometimes we get to be the person serving others.  Other days/hours/weeks, we are humbled into receiving the care and compassion of others.  To the naked, untrained eye, it might appear that Taylor has been on the "taking" end of things for most of his life.  But, when all of the silt settles----and when we are still and taking serious stock in what's what in our lives, it is clear that this sweet and innocent little guy has been giving to us all along.   I so often forget to see with new eyes.   The landscape is so amazing through a lens of pure love.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Making New....Making Room

Another Easter has come and gone.  I can't even tell you how happy I am that it is not this time last year.  One year ago, we were headed into a long spine surgery stay in Chicago.  Healing has been S-l-o-w, but incrementally moving forward.   I think we thought it would be a zip-zam-boom sort of straight-up recovery, but the reality did not match those expectations.  And so, we wait. And watch. And hope. 
     Taylor's daddy, Joe, was diagnosed with lung cancer two months ago.  This has up-ended our lives.  Even though Joe and I are divorced, we are close friends.  He has moved in with us.  If you take me out for drinks ( I don't drink...but I NEED to!), I will fill you in on details that I am saving for Oprah's new show on OWN.   Joe is stable at this point---chemo, radiation and LOTS of rest.
     So, this Easter has been a time during which I have looked at renewal and rebirth--- just thinking about shedding old thoughts, patterns, beliefs and old feelings to make room for new---more better ones.  I believe that we each have to enter into our own personal resurrections on a daily--sometimes hourly basis if we are going to be the people we were meant to be.  This is HARD work.  And constant work.  And, it is a process---not an event ( Like in, "Oh yeah, I already did that once.") it again---forgive, enjoy, confess, enter in, make amends, be honest, take care, show love, show up, be accountable, be intimate----yeah, do those more than once.  Renew.  Re-born.
      This photo:  Taylor and I were riding to Wendy's on Easter around noon. (No "real" Easter lunch for us.)  I turned on the radio to hear the end of a worship service at a local church.  The moment Taylor heard the music, he folded his hands and said, "Pray." 
Taylor gets it.
Music is prayer.
Life is prayer.
We are our own prayers. 
Our lives are our prayers.
Taylor reminds me.